good news and oso bad news

my best friend had just went back 2 hours ago .... before that .... i felt angry and scold them at the school bus stop ... what for ?? because they always bully and cheating me for fun .. and threat me as their experimenter somtimes .. and also as their maid somtimes .... nevermine .. i don't mind that ..... my friends are also treat me like this ... what kind of friends are they? i don't know .... maybe these are the friends that juses gave me ...

yesterday ... i went to a shopping mall near by my house with my friends .. that was the first time i went out with my friends ... including a girl that already broken out with me ... but yesterday , we are friends again ... for me ,this was a super good news ... and also ... my two best friends are not going to change school ... but not because of me ... they didn't change to other school is because of they scared that they can't see and will miss each other ..... haiz ... only them not me ....anyway , atlist they can stay beside me.... a sad good news and bad news ... tomorrow i'll be having the fist examination in 2009 at school ... i have to study mostly all the time after i write this post ... one of my best friend is going to tuition with us at the same tuition centre --- Pelangi .... this is a good news but also a bad news ... the goods is we can have more time to meet each other ... and the bad is i was alone again ....

these months i've told all of u (who had read my blog) about my friends love storey ..... and this cause me think of my own love storey that haven start before ... when i was standard two , i falled in love with a guy who sitting in a same auntie car with me ... his name was Hery , handsome guy but shorter than me .... maybe i falleld in love with him is because he's always helping me when i was bully by other guys ... one day , suddently he told me that : " erm elaine , i know this is unbeliveable but i have to tell u .... i love u !" then he ran away .... i was a shock that time ... a few days later .. i wrote a letter to him :

dear Henry ,

i was a shocked when u told me that u falled in love with me ... i don't understant why but i have to tell you the true .... i love u too .... can u please accept me as your girlfriend ?? and remember dun let anyone know the relationship between us ... elaine

since he received this letter ...everything have changed ... we never talk to each other anymore

.... until standard six we read in the same class and sit at the same place .. but that time .. he's already falledin love with another girl and me too ... i falled in love with a guy named Jason in our class , handsome and smart .... maybe that's the reason i falled in love with him ... he was the second guy who sms with me almost all the time ... but day after day , i found that he did not like me but a girl who's the moniter of 6E .... if i decide to fight .... i will get hurt and also him and the monitor .. so i choosed to let go .... AND NOT ONLY I LOVING OTHERS .... a guy who named Samuel and sitting beside had falled love with me when i was standard three ... why ?? i don't know ... this was a long story .... in school year end holidays .. i suddently received an sms from a guy .. i do not know that was Samuel ... we having sms after i knew that he was the guy who give me support and conciliate .... and one day night , i'm having my delicious seafood dinner with my parents and cousins ... suddently .. i received his massenge ... he told me that .. he love me .. he likes me ... he pleased me to accept him as my boyfriend .. i do not understant what's the meaning of the word "love" that time ... i'm just 9 years old .... i almost accept him but i didn't ... and i was so thankful to my self that i didn't accept him that time ... if not ... my first love and first kiss will be taken by a fatty and blck like andian de guy ... how scary is that ....