good news and oso bad news

my best friend had just went back 2 hours ago .... before that .... i felt angry and scold them at the school bus stop ... what for ?? because they always bully and cheating me for fun .. and threat me as their experimenter somtimes .. and also as their maid somtimes .... nevermine .. i don't mind that ..... my friends are also treat me like this ... what kind of friends are they? i don't know .... maybe these are the friends that juses gave me ...

yesterday ... i went to a shopping mall near by my house with my friends .. that was the first time i went out with my friends ... including a girl that already broken out with me ... but yesterday , we are friends again ... for me ,this was a super good news ... and also ... my two best friends are not going to change school ... but not because of me ... they didn't change to other school is because of they scared that they can't see and will miss each other ..... haiz ... only them not me ....anyway , atlist they can stay beside me.... a sad good news and bad news ... tomorrow i'll be having the fist examination in 2009 at school ... i have to study mostly all the time after i write this post ... one of my best friend is going to tuition with us at the same tuition centre --- Pelangi .... this is a good news but also a bad news ... the goods is we can have more time to meet each other ... and the bad is i was alone again ....

these months i've told all of u (who had read my blog) about my friends love storey ..... and this cause me think of my own love storey that haven start before ... when i was standard two , i falled in love with a guy who sitting in a same auntie car with me ... his name was Hery , handsome guy but shorter than me .... maybe i falleld in love with him is because he's always helping me when i was bully by other guys ... one day , suddently he told me that : " erm elaine , i know this is unbeliveable but i have to tell u .... i love u !" then he ran away .... i was a shock that time ... a few days later .. i wrote a letter to him :

dear Henry ,

i was a shocked when u told me that u falled in love with me ... i don't understant why but i have to tell you the true .... i love u too .... can u please accept me as your girlfriend ?? and remember dun let anyone know the relationship between us ... elaine

since he received this letter ...everything have changed ... we never talk to each other anymore

.... until standard six we read in the same class and sit at the same place .. but that time .. he's already falledin love with another girl and me too ... i falled in love with a guy named Jason in our class , handsome and smart .... maybe that's the reason i falled in love with him ... he was the second guy who sms with me almost all the time ... but day after day , i found that he did not like me but a girl who's the moniter of 6E .... if i decide to fight .... i will get hurt and also him and the monitor .. so i choosed to let go .... AND NOT ONLY I LOVING OTHERS .... a guy who named Samuel and sitting beside had falled love with me when i was standard three ... why ?? i don't know ... this was a long story .... in school year end holidays .. i suddently received an sms from a guy .. i do not know that was Samuel ... we having sms after i knew that he was the guy who give me support and conciliate .... and one day night , i'm having my delicious seafood dinner with my parents and cousins ... suddently .. i received his massenge ... he told me that .. he love me .. he likes me ... he pleased me to accept him as my boyfriend .. i do not understant what's the meaning of the word "love" that time ... i'm just 9 years old .... i almost accept him but i didn't ... and i was so thankful to my self that i didn't accept him that time ... if not ... my first love and first kiss will be taken by a fatty and blck like andian de guy ... how scary is that ....

swt ..... and also sad ....

these day re very boring but can't play computer of my mom dun let ... T-T .. but luckly today i have given a reason so that i can use computer --- search for some school things .. haha .. ok ... back to the topic ... these days ... many many swt things happened between my best friends.... including jealousing ... fighting and also breaking up....

two days ago .... one of my best friend X had complained this to me :" elaine ... Y dun choi me ... she's talking to Z for the whole recess ...." swt right ... means she jealouse lor ... hey sis !! u alll re always never bothere bout me lar ... i never complain anything also .... after complaining to me ... she complains this to my friend A and suddently shout loudly :" i don't wan disturb them 谈情说爱 ma ... " so loud ... at this moment .... somone come in .... it's a guy who like my best friend Y ... oh my god .... why can't she control her mouth ?? my friend re so awkward when they saw the guy ... and ... friends ... dun misunderstant .. they 're juz talking bout the differrence between "boyfriend' and "boyfriend" ... a swt topic ...

yesterday .... my best friends X and Z break off thier relation... why ? i'm going to tell u now ... after recess we suddetly play with water and Z w gets wet because of X ... a classmet joined us and suddently my classmate dirted X's face ( by controling Z's hand ) .... and also .... X told me that Y always forcibly occupy Y and these reason cause them break off ... swt ... so small small fight also wanna break off ... ai yoh yoh.... and today .... they are on good terms again and a very very shame and funny thing happended on me ... on wednesday .. my school was having perjumpaan rumah sukan and aktiviti unit beruniform...

during the perjumpaan for rumah sukan ... we're pleased to have the high-jump lesson in the shcool hall .. damn !! i never did this before .... how can i do it ??!! oh my god ... it was scary ... my partners also said this .... i try to do it ... but .... when i run and ready to jump ... my legs stuck and can't jump ... oh my god ... u will not understant that shame and scary feelings ..... i'll never do that again!! forever !!

ooh oh!! bad news from my best friend .... maybe she 's gonna to change shcool to one of the girl school in Melaka .... damn !! if she change shcool ... my other best friend will change oso ... how can this happened?? they have never think bout me ...bout my feelings... if they change to melaka girl school .... who 's going to talk with me ?? then what for i go to school ?? sitting down there and sleep ?? or waiting somone to tell me "they change school already ... dun be sad ..." ?? then ?? my heart was so painful when i think bout this ... i try to cry but i din't ... i can't cry ... infront of them .... i keep thinking of this question ... why why and why ?? sad news ......

....a special valienty ...feel alone somtimes...

these week was so damn that buzz lar ... so so so many homework to do... but luckly .. i finished them at home and oso last minute at skul ( haha tak sempat buat mar..) .....

i hope i can change a new phone cuz my phone alredi pecah but no money to buy a new one and my dad tak mahu buy for me ... because of these reason .. i have to save money .. by the way not going to rehat and not buying things at skul .. and jimat sikit lor...

every morning ... i reach at skul damn early... but my frienz re always earlier then me de ... when i reach .. they re always talking and laughing... they look so happy ... somtimes i have to finish my homework so i nv bothere them ... somtimes i was so that bored but i dun wanna to disturb them ... scare they re saying some secret .... so sitting at my place and looking at the table...

and during rehat .... i' m always stayed in the classs ... alone ... my friendz alll ready gone for makan that time ... always ... everyday ... so in the quiet class .... onli me staying in the class and clean it evryday or doing some homework ... how was that feel ?? ..... bored ... very very boring ... no one will noe this feeling .... and my friendz will not talking to me if i dun talk to them accept they have somthing to tell me .... all re the same .. but onli a guy sit beside me can always talking to me during teacher teaching or my two best friendz re fighting with others ...

these days .. my younger brother can't sleep ... dunno y ... sohe always coming to my room to sleep with me ... i dunno wether he lieng or he scared to the "phamtom" ... he juz went in and talk to me bout a few sentences or few minutes then he falled a sleep ... swt =.=" .... today was valientyday ... this year's valienty day was speciall.... my parents did not go out and have thier couple time but have our valienty dinner at home ... steamboat somemore... and oso speccial bout i received a valienty present .... but is for friendship de.. not love .... haha ...

actually i don think so somone will fall in love with me lor ... i'm not a beauti .... i not enough fit lar... not good in study ... haha ... got little bit jealouse lar... my two best friendz got ppl wan liao lu.. haha ... i can't tell u who's that ... hahaha ...

oso .... this topic .. fell alone somtimes ... oso including when i go to my father side saudara house ... my cousinz .. re alredi mature ... but me .. i dunnno lar .... but our topic re different ... 100% diifferent somore ... haiz ... not ngam key lar ...... they re much better with my lder and younger brother .... me ?? i'm always alone .. sms with my friend or sitting there all the time until dismiss .... feel very very bored and xian ... T-T .. i dunno when ... i can be better and have topic to talk to them ...

and secret time ... my best friend told me .... somtimes he will talk to a guy which damn handsome ... but not the cup of tea for us .. and somone will misunderstanting that she likes the guy ... she told me .. actually she will talk to him cuz ... the two pengawas sitting befront of her did not wa is she asking bout so ask them juz wasting slywor ... behind ... juz two so lou sitting behind her .. how she ask question ?? so lou wor ... and the guy beside that handsome guy .... he always nv finish his homework and hated by some of the teacher ... so how ?? onli can ask him lor ... i noe somone noe why i write this here de ... i'm juz help my best friend to clarify it ..... and the guy sit beside me ... he's our best friend ... his best friendz oso us - me and my two best friend ... some one is jealouse went saw this guy talking to my best friendz... haha ... its normal ... dun worry ... :) and today's is one of my friends's birthday ... happy birthday ... and i helped him to shi xian his wish edi .... congragulation!!

that's onli wati wanna to tell today bout me ... oso my friendz... bye bye ... see u during the nex post....

started blogging today ~~

a secret box.... i'm a secret box ....y ??

cuz ... i would like to hear wat u say and keep the secret in my heart - my secret box .... now i have secret box No.2 - my blog ....

fewdays ago ... my best friend told me bout her lives ... her secret lives.... these months ... many things had happened on her... someone love her .... her brother noes her secret (very big problem ) ..... many many things .... one of them re bout the guy who like (actually love) her (i cant tell u who is that) ... the guy was jealouse when she was talking to her friendz .. especially guyz ... she feel that somone was looking at her all the time ( actually the guy is tke caring her) .... she told me... she feel some pai seh when she saw him and dunno wat to say to that guy... since the guy told her that he likes her ... she dun understant why do the guy will like her... i told her .. but she's still not belive that she was as good as the guy say ....

i agree that guy who likes her ... she really that good ... she was so special .... her face will turn red all the time .... laughing .... talking ... looking at her ... and she was very fast in action ... everything fast ... little bit lazy ... and bla bla bla... she's a special gul....

i become a secret listener between her and the guy .. and of cuz .. before this .. i not reallly noe the guy... since that ... i noe more bout her and the guy... i have to thank her .... she is an angel in the guy's heart and i hope that she can think bout him ..... noe more bout each other .... more nad more... i'm juz helping them ... R*****ca , sorry if i heart u ...